Goals for 2021: This year I want to be slimmer, fitter, happier and have found the right person.

Does any of that sound like your New Year’s resolution list?

For many years my list has included at least some if not all of these criteria with mixed results! 

The best bit about a new year

As a prolific planner, I enjoy making sure that things that make me happy such as seeing friends and travelling to new places are booked into the diary.  This is definitely the best bit of a new year and something I look forward to doing.  

The goals that keep recurring annually!

However for many years the search for the elusive Mr Right and anything requiring any will power such as weight loss and fitness have started with good intensions but not often resulted in a tick on the list!


Find my Mr Right – online…..!

black ipad on brown wooden table

For me, more often than not, Januarys hailed the uploading of my dating profile.  ‘A new year simply must be a good thing and this one will be the one!’   I would sign up to a website and spend a ridiculously large amount of time perfecting my profile and adding photos and then with a flurry of excitement press save and search.  The ‘eligibles’ stare back at me and although there may be one or two who look kind of my type, I’m not too sure that their love of weekends in front of the TV, the fact that they live miles away with no plans to move or that I’m struggling to read their profile due grammatical errors are really for me.  Then I have a chat with myself,  ‘go on, be more open minded, you never know unless you have a go!!’ and with that I press ‘like’ and wait.  I can see they’ve checked my profile and then, oh yes, they’ve signed off the site.  What was wrong with my profile I wonder, perhaps it was the photos, my age, height, size, independence…who knows?  Down but not out, I ‘like’ a few more ‘eligibles’ before signing off disheartened and wishing I hadn’t been so open minded!

The slimmer, fitter goal

So, moving on,….the slimmer, fitter bit.  This goal usually does fairly well until the middle of February when the majority of my family have their birthdays!  Delicious gluten free cake surrounds me and several birthday teas later I’ve got the taste for deliciousness back and the best of my intensions start to unravel.  So too does the desire to exercise as recovering from the cake slows me down and my competitive streak goes AWOL.  Oh dear!

So, what about 2021?  It’s already got off to a very different start for us all with lockdown!  Dating is limited, travel non-existent, it’s cold and grey and diets and fitness seem like a mighty challenge already….but….this year it will be different.

person jogging on snow capped pathway

2021 is different – now to make it better than ever – with coaching techniques I have a better chance of making things really happen

With less opportunity to plan I’m going to have to put my holiday and travels plans on hold.  With some coaching 18 months ago I found a lovely man so I don’t need to put that on this January’s list, however the weight and fitness thing remains.

So where to start.  Well I’ve identified that sugar is not great for me.  Too much at Christmas and I didn’t feel well.  So that’s been fairly easily put to one side as the memory is still fresh.   I’ve also set myself a goal of doing some exercise everyday be it running, pilates or yoga as well as walking 35000+ steps a week.  That may not seem much to some and to others loads.  Aiming for 5000 a day is not always possible especially on the days I sit at a desk all day. However I reckon having a weekly total will therefore make this achievable!

From a food perspective, a friend of mine said she’d lost a stone in 3 months eating vegetarian food!  Amazing.  We all need to be mindful of the planet’s resources and although I rarely eat red meat anyway, eating more fully vegetarian meals has meant being more creative in the kitchen using herbs and spices I’ve never used before thereby turning something relatively bland into something delicious! This will certainly be a more regular occurrence.   I think I’ve identified my main problem as snacking between about 4-730 pm!  I think this is a time that many of us start to look around the fridge or cupboard, made much easier with home working!  So I’m glad that at the end of last year I undertook a course in neuro linguistic programming (NLP) and learnt some great techniques that have helped me think more about replacing food with activities or drinking water.  I’ve found them to be pretty effective so far and now it’s about making these things habits…my norm…which interestingly and somewhat surprisingly isn’t as difficult as it has been in the past. 

So what about you?  Do you have a list of goals for 2021?  Are they similar to previous years or are you good at achieving your goals and setting new ones?  If they’re recurring It may be worth asking yourself if, deep down, you still really want to achieve them and if you do, perhaps consider going about them in a different way.  We all know that if we always do what we’ve always done, then we always get what we’ve always got!  So change is required. 

The magazines, television ads, phone apps are full of ways to lose weight, eat healthily, get fit and look great but they don’t take into account that we’re all individuals with our own likes and dislikes, motivations, abilities, timetables, budgets etc. 

So what about you?  How do you find navigating your way through what’s out there to achieve your goals?  Easy or challenging?

compass on white map surrounded dried leaves

Learning to recognise what we enjoy, are good at, what motivates us and what brings the best out of us is so important.  It’s not always easy to identify where we are going wrong.  Friends and family can be helpful with this however sometimes it’s an outsider who can help us see things in a new way. 

Have you ever seen ‘say yes to the dress?’  I find that programme captivating.  The bride and her entourage all with different ideas on things.  As an outsider I can look objectively and see what I think works, who is getting in the way of the bride making her choice and all the issues surrounding the purchase.  The shop assistants can see this too and they work at trying to achieve the bride’s dream whilst passifying the entourage and mothers. 

Along the same lines is ‘married at first sight’ where relationship coaches match candidates.  It’s interesting to watch.  From the pre-amble the candidates share about themselves to the moment the bride and groom lay eyes on each other to the way they interact with each other is fascinating.    The reason people volunteer for this show is they’ve been unable to find Mr or Miss Right for themselves.  It’s not always clear why this might be from the start but as people are faced with challenges, how they work through them tells a really interesting story about them as people, with history, loves and loss, confidence and lack of it, negotiation skills, how they view life.  It’s amazing.

We’re all SO different and I think it’s for this reason that coaching can be really helpful when it comes to working through the things we want to change in life.

If you’d like some coaching to help with your changes, just email or call me.  The first consultation session is free so you’ve nothing to lose and it might just be the thing that makes the difference for ever!

I’ll look forward to hearing from you 🙂